im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
