Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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