is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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