I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
