it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
