all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
COCAINE IS GR8
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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