we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
