Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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