Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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