how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
