I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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