I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
what day is it and did you see me today?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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