my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
