I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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