Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
