i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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