if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
