My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
