Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Randomize
