Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
