Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it's like iHOP with fire
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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