you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
