I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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