Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
