I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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