I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
