Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
