her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
