I wanna passion pit in your ass
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
