Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
