Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just puked most of my soul out..
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