In the future we'll all be gay
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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