1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Even my vagina gasped.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
