You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
