BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
