did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
