That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This baby is an asshole
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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