Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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