It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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