More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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