It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
