New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
