ADVERTISEMENT

• (752): View more from California

  What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?

  (209): View more from California

  I think the two go hand in hand.

  Fav 73 1433 6323

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.

  Fav 30 1507 4717

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.

  Fav 13 3591 1393

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know but we should still do that

  Fav 20 5501 1043

  share tweet
  

• (419): View more from Ohio

  Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"

  Fav 23 9336 1313

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.

  Fav 14 5935 1369

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (973): View more from New Jersey

  remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  it happened again.

  Fav 8 6464 1223

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight

  Fav 10 4442 1284

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.

  Fav 8 3003 902

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.

  Fav 8 1811 1386

  share tweet
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.

  Fav 5 1757 728

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (205): View more from Alabama

  Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?

  Fav 1 59 12

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag

  Fav 3 135 14

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.

  Fav 0 29 18

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (584): View more from

  You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.

  Fav 0 50 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize