Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
