I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
