you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
