I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
