Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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