I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
