So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
