yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Green mimosas i think yes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
