Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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